50 Days!

50 days ago, I wrote a post about how I was 100 days from the “big day” and thus entering the twilight zone; and somehow we’ve gone from 100 to 50.  50 days left!  As my friend L. would say, that is bananas! 

During some of the past 50 days, I have been very good at staying grounded, while on other days I have failed miserably.  And as I predicted but didn’t fully understand until now, the countdown to a wedding can be a wild roller coaster- the upside down kind.  I have found myself getting emotional, as in like a teenager, only I can’t blame my hormones.   (Or can I?  Please comment if you know something I don’t!)  And I have learned that in spite of my best intentions to the contrary, even I can fall prey to worries about whether my menus are appropriately centered on the page, whether I’ll finish the programs in time, and whether my flowers will look tacky (a very real, irrational fear I’m working on getting over). 

Deep breath.  Reminder to self: I will prioritize my commitment to and connection with J. above all else.  No matter what happens in the coming madness, I won’t forget why I’m here.  A wedding is about love, about commitment, about caring, about family, about starting fresh and treasuring moments.  Who cares about the flowers?  It is time to regroup, to refocus on the joy, to allow small disappointments and details the space to pass by, because remember how they don’t matter?  I am pretty sure I once said that, nearly verbatim on this blog.

 I am more fortunate than I could have ever hoped to be.  It is good! 

And it is coming!!

Photo by Jessica Morrisy