Ten Wedding “Musts” You Can Live Without

I think it is pretty obvious at this point that I heart weddings.  But I do not heart the wedding industrial complex.  And since the season of bridal shows has arrived, I feel compelled to share how much I likewise do not heart bridal shows.  Generally, I found I could categorize them into two classes: (1) full of great things I could not afford or (2) full of overpriced, mediocre things I could do without.  In either situation, I left the shows feeling guilty (is my wedding good enough?  is my wedding too over-the-top?  am I too judgmental?  am I too picky? am I being too cheap?)…  I ended up with a lot of email spam too, and no, I did not win any contests.  And these sorts of events made me feel insecure about my choices… something in retrospect I now see was ridiculous.  Vendors and websites often try to tell you what you “must have” or “must do” when planning such an event.  I’m here to tell you it’s all a lie.  You can have whatever you want (within reason and budget of course).   So with this in mind, I wanted to give you a list of the top ten things I think you CAN live without.  Let’s all breathe a collective sigh of relief!

this bride clearly went to the same bridal shows I did

(1) Wedding Planning Books

Admittedly, this is probably controversial, and I mostly love books.  But you don’t need this kind.   All you need is a box, scrapbook or binder with ideas torn from magazine pages, inspirations from fabric, and so forth.  I did, and it sure helped when trying to explain my vision to vendors.  But with so many free online resources, why spend money on one more?  I suggest you visit The Knot, Brides, and WeddingChannel for starter checklists and tools, and then make your own.

(2) Fancy Undergarments

If you are going to shell out cash for a nice wedding gown, chances are it has good lining and support.  You probably don’t need to spend $200 more at the bridal shop on their fancy undergarments.  I’ve seen seamless, strapless bras and corsets at Macy’s for very reasonable prices, and I got my own strapless from the Body by Victoria line.  And though I am generally pro spanx, you’re probably going to feel hot in your wedding dress as it is- you don’t need to layer shapewear under it too.  If you are not comfortable it will show in pictures.  Basics are best.

(3) Ceremony Programs

Sure, programs are nice, but let’s be real- nobody saves programs.  In fact, most people hardly notice them.  Of course, I had them, I slaved over them, I loved them.  No regrets.  But I don’t really think anyone else cared.  So if you’re looking to shave some savings and sanity off of your wedding planning, this is the place to do it.

(4) Bridal Party Gifts

Ok this is a situation where I definitely did not take my own advice- but- you really don’t need to go overboard with the bridal party gifts.  My wedding planner had to, on two occasions, remind me that people were in our wedding because they loved us, and we did not need to feel the need to compensate them somehow.  This was excellent wisdom.  Keep it simple!

(5) Favors

Most wedding favors languish in people’s junk drawers.  I’ve received a few really great, personal, thoughtful ones, but if you just don’t feel like you can find the right favor for your budget, don’t buy junk, just skip it.  Make a small charitable donation instead- people never mind, and it is a nice touch.

(6) Calligraphy

Let’s keep it real here.  Callgraphy goes on the envelope.  Envelopes= garbage.  Even people who save invitations do not save envelopes.  I love calligraphy so much – it is an amazing luxury that I adore.  But it is not a need and you should not feel guilty for spending money elsewhere.

(7) Wedding Websites (at least, the kind that cost money)

With so many free options that can be totally customized, you need a really good reason if you are going to spend money on a wedding website.

(8) Fancy Engagement Albums

I’m all for taking engagement photos (in fact, I think this is an absolute “must” to get comfortable with your photographer before the wedding).  But I don’t think you need to buy a fancy album of photos– if your photographer is willing to give you digital images, you can make a very nice album for yourself using programs like Snapfish.  We are planning to splurge on a nice wedding album, so we saved on the engagement album by designing our own, and I have no regrets.

(9) Anything That Says “Bride”

If you really just must wear “bride” gear, get it on sale, ask for it as a gift, or wear it as a “something borrowed” because you’ll NEVER wear it again.  Ever.  Look, I’m not a total killjoy, I know that it’s fun to wear that stuff for one day, I just don’t consider it a “must”.

(10) A Ridculous Floral Budget

You do not need to throw thousands of dollars at flowers if you can’t afford it.  Men can skip boutoniere’s and wear pocket squares instead.  Ladies’ bouquets are always negotiable.  Centerpieces can be simple and candles can always be used instead of fancy high arrangements.  I love flowers, but I don’t think this is a place where you should feel guilted into spending money.  Speaking from personal experience, my florist tried to guilt me (in a nice but persistently annoying way) and at the end of the day going with my gut kept our budget- and my vision- in check.

Do you agree?  Disagree?  What wedding “musts” do you think you could live without?

image source

Today I’m Loving: Vintage Wedding Gowns

So let’s say you are like me and you love vintage clothing.  The history, the care, the preservation, it’s all so special!  And let’s say you are also a budget-conscious bride.  Worried?  You shouldn’t be- this dilemma is easily resolved!  Here’s my quick list of great places to look for incredible vintage gowns at reasonable prices (all but one of the gowns below are under $1000).  I know, I know, these dresses are generally teenie tiny (JEALOUS of the girl who could wear one of these sans starvation!!), but I’ve heard through the grapevine that seamstresses are quite capable of making dresses like this larger- and they can do things with some of the less than desirable sleeves you sometimes see- so it’s worth the effort.  All images below link to their retail source.  Happy hunting!

Ruby Lane

Ruby Lane is one of my favorite places to shop for antiques- I have scored everything from the perfect 1933 Chicago World’s Fair souvenirs for my dad’s birthday, to hats from the 1950’s and books from the 1920’s.  So it comes as no surprise to me that many of the Ruby Lane vendors are carrying wedding gowns.  Just look at this gorgeous gown which hails from the 1940’s and is only $145.  I bet it looks a lot better on a real person than on a shapeless dress form.  Not to mention, the antique lace alone has to be worth that price!

Click through to check out the stunning detachable train!

Posh Girl Vintage

The name says it all- this online retailer’s collection of fabulous white dresses will blow you away.  Like the dress below, a 1950’s eyelet confection which is begging someone to wear it in their backyard wedding!  Just make sure you watch the website often and buy quickly if you love something because these lovelys seem to sell FAST!

1950's White Eyelet Organza Long Dress only $323!!

The Frock

You are going to melt when you see the goodness over at The Frock.  A well-edited collection of high-style, high-quality vintage gowns that will knock your socks off!  If you’ve got the cash, they’ve got the goods.  For example…

This Harlowe Era Fantasy gown is from 1930 and will set you back $4700 big ones. But oh my.

Cherished Bride

Much like the Frock but at lower price points, Cherished Bride has incredible offerings, all in ready to wear condition!  Right now, I’m drooling over this 1930’s masterpiece of structured, art deco magic.

And at $750, I think most people I know will be drooling too.

Etsy

Last but not least, every girl’s go-to resource for all things fabulous- etsy!  In particular, I recommend you check out Timeless Vixen Vintage if you want to drool some more.  I’m not even going to waste any more time discussing– I’m getting to the good stuff– just click the images for links to the store!

There are about 8,000 things I love about this dress. Including the price: $325

Sweet pink perfection, and only $660

In the words of Rachel Zoe, I DIE. I DIE. $325

Such a shame I can't wear white to someone else's wedding- I don't know where else I would wear this. But I heart it. $410

Tiffany Blue Dress Finds

Here at The One! we always enjoy getting reader questions, especially about cute clothing!  So today I have one to share that’s been lots of fun to research:

Help!  My cousin/bff is getting married in July and I am an “honorary bridesmaid”  (special, but don’t get to actually be a bridesmaid!)  I need a dress– I’m thinking cotton, summery (it will be North Carolina and hott!) and maybe tiffany blue.   Any suggestions?

Yes, we do have suggestions!  Tiffany blue is not an easy color to find, so actually, one of the best places to shop for such a dress is, probably, bridesmaids stores.  But here’s some other cute options that would at least coordinate with Tiffany blue that we found to consider!

Nervous about rocking such a strong color all-over?  Consider a pattern instead of a solid- this can be a great way to introduce a second color you love too- and especially flatter your skin tone!  Also, don’t forget that you can always buy an inexpensive dress and spend a little money on alterations to make it perfect– sometimes the total cost of a cute Target find with some alterations is still much, much less than the cost of a department store dress, and because it fits properly, actually looks better!  Happy shopping!  (All images link to their source)

Both from the Merona collection at Target! Left: Bridget Shift Dress in Green Floral. Right: Karissa Shirt Dress (both $39.99!)

David's Bridal: Cotton Sateen Strapless Dress ($135)

American Eagle: Bubble Print Tank Dress ($34.50) (no, you don't have to be 16 to shop there, the sizing is reasonable!)

Urban Outfitters: Kimchi Blue Zip Pleat Ruffle Dress ($58)

Ann Taylor: Silk V-Neck Dress ($215) (Ann also sells a very similar dress with a scoop neckline in the same color)

Anthropologie: Caballo Falls Dress ($168)

Nordstrom: Trixxi One Shoulder Dress ($68)

BCBG: Front-Twisted Printed Dress ($148)

Update on Gilt Groupe’s Wedding Weekend

If you read The One! already, then you know from yesterday’s post that Gilt Groupe has collaborated with Martha Stewart weddings (my all-time favorites, working together!  yesssssss) to bring you an incredible sale this weekend- it’s called Wedding Weekend, and I think it’s a definite must-see for anyone who loves weddings!  But today I am extra excited because I have even more goodness for you.  Yes, it’s true, we scored PREVIEWS of some of the stunning gowns (and shoes!) you can find at the sale, straight from the source!  Thanks to the fine folks over at Gilt for sending these to us!!  Grab a tissue because you’re about to drool… and sign up for Gilt today, if you haven’t already, so you’ll be ready on March 12 when the sale starts!!

Gown by Carolina Herrera: Original Retail: $5790, Gilt: $1999

Carolina back view

Carolina overlay (sigh!)

Another perfect gown from Carolina Herrera: Original Retail: $4990, Gilt: $1599

Carolina back view

Carolina detail

From Thread Made To Order, Silk Faille Strapless Notched Bust Liddy Dress: Original Retail: $305, Gilt: $228.75

Thread back view

Thread detail

Vera Wang Lavender Label, Bias Satin Draped Neckline Gown: Original Retail: $655.50, Gilt: $196.65

Vera back view

Vera detail (how I love thee)

The icing on the cake! Sergio Rossi: Original Retail: $770, Gilt: $128

Sergio looks good coming or going

This shot makes me so psyched for summer shoes again!

What other cyber-sales have you visited for wedding deals?  Or non-wedding deals for that matter?  After all, a girl doesn’t have to wait for her wedding to get glam!

Sale Alert: Gilt Groupe Partners with Martha!

I have excellent news for you today if you are planning a wedding and have a “champagne taste but beer budget” problem (or just like a good bargain).  Gilt Groupe is partnering with Martha Stewart Weddings this weekend, March 12-14, starting at noon ET!  I have been a big fan of Gilt Groupe for a while now, because I always score great deals there.  But now, gowns by designers like Carolina Herrera and Alexander McQueen will also be for sale there… not to mention bridesmaids dresses from Amasale and Vera Wang Lavender!  If only I had known about this sale a year ago!  Ah well, my loss is your gain!  I would love to hear if any of you score a great find at this sale!  If you’re not a member of Gilt already, click here to sign up- even if you’re not looking for wedding duds, you’re likely to score some great deals!

Creative Approaches to The Breaking of the Glass

The breaking of the glass is an important tradition at Jewish wedding ceremonies.  Traditionally, the groom smashes a glass with his foot at the conclusion of the ceremony.  There are two main schools of thought about the meaning of this tradition.  One interpretation is that the broken glass symbolizes “forever” – that the marriage will last as long as the glass is broken.  Another interpretation is that Jews need to remember those who are suffering even during the most joyous occasions, and to remember the destruction of the second temple.  Rather than delve more into the background of this tradition, I would recommend The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant to anyone who is interested.

The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant

Regardless of its meaning, the breaking of the glass is certainly one of the more “popular” traditions at Jewish ceremonies.  I have heard many terrible stories about errors occurring during the execution of this tradition.  There are stories about the glass not breaking, leading to a lot of embarrassment for the groom and some rumors of bad luck.  There are stories about the glass tearing through the groom’s shoe, leading to a night at the Emergency Room.  The list goes on.  I wanted to avoid this at all costs.  Hence, I did a little research.

The best idea is to not rely on the catering facility to provide the glass.  While your caterer should be able to provide a drinking glass wrapped in a cloth napkin, the glass is often too thick, and not easily breakable.  The most common recommendation I received was to bring a light bulb for the groom to break instead.  Light bulbs break very easily, and make a great “popping” sound.  It’s an easy, low-cost idea.

But of course, I continued the search to find something a little more special.  I came across Shardz, a company that sells products at most Judaica stores.  Shardz sells “wedding glass” in every color, so you can coordinate the glass color to match your wedding. While their price is a little expensive for a thin glass (approximately $30), I thought it was worth it. 

Look at these great colors!

The glass that I ordered came in a lovely satin pouch.  The most wonderful part of using Shardz is that your broken wedding glass can be made into a wonderful memento of your wedding.  After your wedding, you mail the broken wedding glass (in a sealed, ziploc bag) back to the company.  Shardz will turn put your wedding glass into a mezzuzah, kiddush cup, candle sticks, picture frame or menorah.  I’m very pleased that I can incorporate the remnants of this Jewish wedding tradition into a Judaica item for my home.

Mezzuzah made from Shardz

I ordered my Shardz from www.galleryjudaica.com.  Shardz is not the only company that sells this.  www.Judaism.com sells “groom’s glass” from various artists.  I’m sure you can find even more options with a little web browsing.  What creative ideas do you have for this great tradition?

Win Free Wedding Photography from Unusually Fine!

Today I am super-extra excited to share with you a very cool contest- you can thank bridesmaid H.  for sending this goodness our way!  If you are getting married in NYC in 2010 or 2011, you definitely need to check this out: a full day of free wedding photography (including an album!  what?! yes!)  from the incredibly talented folks at Unusually Fine!  But make sure you enter soon- the deadline is March 12!  The photos featured in this post belong to them…

Is this not 100% totally adorable?

Here’s the scoop, from the source:

Attn: All lovers.

Unusually Fine is going to shoot one lucky couple’s New York wedding for FREE.  We’re new to the city and it’s our way of saying, “Hello, New York. Can I buy you a drink?”

Here’s the deal. Max and Margaret are suckers for a good love story.  Send yours our way by Friday, March 12th.  Tell us why your love is special and why you think Unusually Fine ought to shoot your wedding.   A team of highly-trained monkey judges will choose three finalists.  The top three entries will be posted to our blog and we’ll leave it to our fans to decide who wins.

That’s it.  The winner receives up to 8 hours of wedding day coverage, a gorgeous album, and the DVD of images.  There are no strings attached, no hidden costs, no taxes, no obligation to buy a single thing.  This is so free.  It’s 110% free.  So.  Send this link to your friends, family, coworkers, boss, or nominate them yourself, and make sure you do it before March 12th.

RULES:
1. You must be in love.
2. The wedding must take place in the great state of New York.
3. The wedding must be in 2010 or 2011.

HOW TO ENTER:
Send your love story to look@unusuallyfine.com in 1,000 words or fewer, along with a snapshot of the engaged couple.

And here’s the adorable blog:  http://unusuallyfine.blogspot.com/

Go sign up now!

Free Money For Shopping You Do Anyway…

I have seen other brides blog about this in the past, but I have no idea what took me so long to get on the bandwagon.  Well, I’m on it now.  I signed up for Ebates.  Ebates is this website that gives cash back for shopping, only you don’t have to pay for anything or get any email spam in order to participate.  Here’s how it works (1) go to Ebates, (2) look for the retailer you want and click on their name, (3) Ebates will reroute you to the retailer’s website where you make your purchase as usual, (4) four times a year they will send you a check.

For example, I just bought some custom postage for shower invitations at Zazzle, spent about $100, and since they give 10% cash back I’m getting about $10 for it.  I also buy online from Sephora pretty often, and they give 4% back. See how this could add up?  My personal rule is that I don’t use the service unless it is for something I need to buy anyway and the coupons make it all make sense- which has been more often than I expected.

I am also a big fan of Ebates because they have coupon codes on their website, which you can use for even more bargains.  And of course, once you have started shopping, there is nothing to prohibit you from using other coupon codes.  So my Zazzle purchase, for example, I used a code for 12% off, a code for $20 off, and a code for free shipping, so with the extra $10 from Ebates, my fancy postage became much more affordable.

My favorite stores on Ebates include:

The Apple Store (1%)

Ann Taylor and Loft (3%)

Barnes and Noble (8%)

Bliss Spa (4%)

Borders (4%)

Crate and Barrel (3%)

Gap (4%)

iTunes (3%)

JoAnn (5%)

Kate Spade (3.5%)

The Land of Nod (4%)

Nordstrom (3%)

Payless (3%)

PetFoodDirect (5%) – I use this one a LOT

Red Envelope (6%)

Target (3%)

Urban Outfitters (2.5%)

Vera Bradley (3%)

Victoria’s Secret (2%)

Vistaprint (5%) – HEY BRIDES, SEE THIS?!

White House Black Market (2%)

1-800-FLOWERS (5%)

And the list goes on.  It’s also a great place to book travel (car rental, hotels and airfare) for cash back too!  I will definitely be hooking this up for my next trip.

In the interest of full disclosure, I want you to know that if you sign up for Ebates by clicking on a link in this post, I get a referral credit- so signing up through this post would be very nice of you- but if you would prefer not to do so, you can navigate to Ebates directly in your browser, and I think in either case you will be happy you did!  I don’t really mind if you use my referral link or not- I just think this is an easy way to watch pennies- and I think this would have been extra handy when planning our wedding, since we bought SO much stuff online!

Free Fonts and Why I Love Them

I love me some free fonts.  They come in handy so often these days for various projects, from shower favors to thank you notes.  Adding an element of professional polish to even the most basic of labels, and making me look a lot more like a graphic designer than I am (which is not at all).  I have a pretty nice version of Microsoft Word at home, but my favorites were all downloaded from DaFont for FREE.   All you have to do is move your downloaded font into your computer’s “font” folder, and it will be available to you in Power Point, Word, and more for use on special projects.

What fonts do you love?  Do you have any good tips for how to find great free fonts?

Matching ‘Maids, Not Poor ‘Maids

For example, my dear friend R. recently chose shoes to go with our navy blue Jenny Yoo bridesmaids dresses.  The dresses are super swank, but the shoes are cheap n’ chic.  From none other than Lela Rose for Payless!!  I heart these shoes.  And I can vouch that they look even better in person, if that is possible! 

$29.99 (click for source)

But of course you don’t have to limit yourself to just Payless.  Check out these hot pink lovelies from, yes, Target! 

And don’t forget the junior’s stores.     Charlotte Russe, for example, carries this great shoe in teal, gray and black, and I am loving the bling!

$34.99

 And these peacock flats are to die for.  Am I right?

 Even Baker’s has some cute options (and I have’t shopped there since I was 14).

$29.99

 And don’t forget chains like DSW, TJ Maxx and Marshall’s either.  Just make sure you buy fast – they carry limited quantities- so your ladies aren’t left shoeless!