Wow, it’s hard to believe that we’re moving today, but we really are.  It’s kind of incredible to remember how we got to this day.  I bought my condo in March of 2008, tried to sell it between January and June of 2010, failed, and decided to list it on the rental market instead.  In the mean time, J. and I have been working nights and weekends to renovate his house, one we’ve had a tenant living in for the past 2 years.  It has been a ton of work.  A ton.  We are both absolutely exhausted and that doesn’t even count the pending moving exhaustion we’re sure to feel later today!

So with all that said, you’d think I’d be too distracted to notice the small part of me that’s feeling sad to leave.  I am not a person who feels nostalgic about everything- I have moved many times and never felt much sense of loss.  I try to follow that time-tested cliche: it’s best to live life looking forward and not backward.  But something about this move is different… a significant slice of my life took place in this condo- it’s the place J. and I first lived together, where we got engaged, and where we began our married life.  I already miss seeing the pictures on the walls, snuggling in front of the fireplace, or sneaking down to the pool after a thunderstorm before everyone else figures out the pool is open again.  And I will miss the way this house is pure, unadulterated “me.”

But.

The new house is a force to be reckoned with and together, J. and I have put our stamp all over it.  It has original subway bathroom tiles, fabulous hardwood flooring, adorable architectural features like arches, and period-appropriate schoolhouse light fixtures throughout.  We have demolished, polished, sanded, patched, stained, painted, weeded, and installed this house to near-perfection.  Enough is done that we can move in, and enough is left to do to keep us interested (hello yard!)!  It’s the kind of old, shopworn, creaky old house that I grew up in- the kind of house that really gets me.  This house has a story to tell.  I’m excited to figure out that story, even if the story starts out, “once upon a time there was a house whose previous owner was bad at fixing things properly…”

I will try to share some before-and-after photos with you guys soon!  But in the mean time, onward I go!

image source

Perhaps you need melamine plates for those August cookouts?

Or maybe you need new coffee mugs to make mornings a bit easier

Who doesn't love new throw pillows?

And just think how much easier it would be to get the most important meal of the day in, with this cereal bowl

I’m going to go to work now and daydream!  But let me know if you score any awesome deals!

My very first niece was born on July 6!  J. and I got to meet her Saturday and she is just absolute and utter perfection.  I’m in love.  While we were there, of course I grabbed my camera and started playing.  Look at this great shot I got while J. was holding her!  I’m just so excited to learn all the things my new camera can do, and I adore this one!  Though, let’s keep it real, you’d be hard pressed to take a bad photo with such a gorgeous subject.  Introducing baby Ella Grace!

But I’m not giving up on The One!  Instead, I’m looking for a NEW BLOGGER BRIDE (or two?) to whom I can pass the torch!  Don’t worry I will still post too, but I think we need to breathe some new life into this place!   The ideal candidate will:

– Share my desire to keep The One! as snark free as possible, while still maintaining enough space to allow for a few opinions!

– Have an appreciation for budget friendly, DIY, and otherwise personal and unique wedding details!

– Share my philosophy that weddings are first and foremost about commitment, family and love!

– Be an excellent writer!

– Be willing to post 2-3 times weekly!

If you think you’re up for the challenge, please email me, sarah.theoneNY [at] gmail [dot] com, with your name and a brief paragraph about why you’d like to blog with The One!   If you have a personal blog, please let me know the link, and if you do not, please provide 2-3 samples of your written work product- any relevant format will do!

I know there are so many of you out there who have good ideas and I’d LOVE to bring you into the fold!!

xoxo,

Sarah

The moment when my new last name was mispronounced for the very first time! (image by Jessica Morrisy)

Click image to visit the Wedding Channel's website!

xoxo,

Sarah

(image source)

Stress Source #1: The big girl house.  In January when we left for our honeymoon, we listed my big girl condo for sale.  And we’ve had plenty of open houses and interest but the condo isn’t selling.  We agonized and then agreed to drop the price to below what I paid, substantially, and still, no offers.  Definitely not what I was going for.

Stress Source #2: The 2-bedroom colonial.  When the condo didn’t move, we tried to sell J.’s house to the tenant who currently lives there.  She was 100% financed through a special program and we were selling at a below-market price (at an enormous loss to us, another agonizing decision) and yet, the house still apprasied by the bank at far, far below the sale price.  The transaction fell through.  Now, we all know how banks work these days, especially when they are trying to avoid 100% financing situations (what?? you mean a bank might purposely under-appraise a risky transaction?), but it was still a huge disappointment- we had been through the ringer negotiating a contract with an unprofessional buyer’s attorney and two people who didn’t know much about the market or buying a house- so much irritating hand-holding with no reward.  We even attempted to bridge the gap a few weeks later, but then we were given an even worse offer on the house.  We stood our ground and walked away.  I stand behind the decision but it still stinks.

Stress Source #3: I have spent the last three months attempting to make a career change- complete with a near 50% potential pay cut and a totally different accompanying lifestyle.  The “target job” is something I know with absolute certainty that I want to do, but in this hiring market there is extreme competition for everything and it’s nearly impossible to make a change- I’m lucky to have a job at all, let alone the job I have- and I know how good I have it.  Still, I hoped I could forge a modified path forward for myself.  And despite a lot of apparent promise and progress, I didn’t get the job.  For very good reasons, none of which reflected on me or were in my control.  I was pretty bummed when I found out.  And of course, there was all that stress of trying to come up with a new budget for our household in the months leading up to that moment.  In retrospect it was good because we’re living more leanly than ever and maximizing our money- but still, it was stress.

Well-meaning people have tried to make me feel better, saying things like “it wasn’t meant to be” or “don’t worry it will get better.”  These things can feel a little patronizing when you’re feeling trapped and stubborn, but the truth is that those well-meaning people are right.  There’s good underneath all the stress.  In a strange way, these challenges have provided J. and I with an “us against the world” mentality that is both incredibly romantic and thoroughly grounding.  By forcing us to reexamine our priorities and goals, and make choices about what we want most, fate, it seems, is working to strengthen our marriage.

I personally hate phrases like “if you can’t control the wind, adjust your sails.”  But no platitude could more closely conform to our present situation.  And so, we’re adjusting.  I don’t know what we’re going to do next and neither does J.   But we’re going to loosen our grip because it’s obvious we can’t control anything (we tried, we failed).  I’m not the kind of person who believes in a benevolent universal force at work… I’m a realist and I know this could still end poorly.  But I do feel a safety in our one-ness, and a confidence that as long as we keep our sense of teamwork, it will be ok.  I mean, we’ve been married for 4 months, longer than most celebrities, so that’s something at least!

So how are we adjusting our sails?  First, aggressive savings and a hardcore budget.  Suze Orman would approve.  Second, I’m expanding my bucket list… I signed up for another 10k in June, I’m searching for a fun place to go camping this summer, and I’ve decided to continue working on fixing up my condo whether it sells or not.   The master bedroom is getting painted dammit and I’m giving the textiles a makeover Amy Butler style (no throw pillow is safe).  I’m trying my hand at starting flower seedlings for my window boxes.  I am even going to start quilting (famous last words).  Third?  I’m going to start packing my lunch, because its less expensive and healthier.  It may not sound like a big deal to pack lunch, but for me it’s huge- and it’s a daily reminder of my commitment to the budget and the goals and to taking care of myself.  And it’s nice to remember to be thankful for all that is good… one of the reasons why I’ve put honeymoon pics in this post, I’m definitely thankful we got that!!

Could this be what marriage is all about?  For better or for worse, right?

Now for the million dollar question… all you newlyweds and not-so-much-newbies out there, did you find your own marriages challenged in similar ways when you first started out?  War stories!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all psyched at the new hole in the seat of our chair.  But look at the construction of this nest– and you can’t even see the part that fell out but it used to look even more impressive.  Think of how many hours it must have taken our friend the squirrel to get all those twigs in there… this is a second floor balcony that is only accessible by climbing a gutter. It’s really quite a brilliant feat when you think about it.  My friend C. thinks they must have known it was my house and used the Martha Stewart book of nest building to aid in their work.

And of course I’m 100% sure J. will strongly disagree with me on this, but, since the damage is done, I have to say that as an animal lover I’m kind of glad we were able to offer a little creature a warm place to hide for the winter.  I just wish she or he would have lived there without eating all the wicker.  At least it’s in a place we normally cover with pillows, but these were a gift to J. from his parents, so I’m still bummed that it happened.  And you’d better believe next winter we’ll be investing in some moth balls for under the patio furniture covers!!

Oh and do you know what the best part is?  When I cleaned off the upstairs patio, I found ANOTHER nest in our GRILL!  That one’s getting tossed

Of course I should mention- most cleanses say that they are not intended to be a weight loss technique.  What they are actually supposed to do is rid your body of toxins and all that yucky stuff.  So take it for what you will.  Also, a brief legal disclaimer: be careful, talk to your doctor, and know that I’m making no claims, promises, etc. regarding the safety or effectiveness of cleansing.  You’re on your own peeps.

And thus, my research into the world of cleansing began.  Now, my first exposure was to the Master Cleanse- which seems wildly unhealthy to even my non-medical mind.  The cleanse involves drinking only a concoction made from fresh lemons, grade B maple syrup and cayenne pepper.   For days.  No solid food is eaten for the entire cleanse, and for me that was a deal breaker… I was not spending all this time and effort to get skinny only to wreck my metabolism.  Plus, no food is a really bad idea for me, because I get cranky.  So I kept looking.

Next I considered GOOP which is the cleanse made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow.  The nice thing about this cleanse is that you DO get to eat.  The drawback for me was that you have to have lots of fresh food on hand and you have to fix everything yourself.  For regular people this is totally doable.  But for me, given my work schedule which is generally hectic and unpredictable, it wasn’t realistic.

But then, I found the BluePrint Cleanse.  BP is actually a company that makes a few types of cleanses and they’re all pre-made and juice based, but the juice has calories so your body doesn’t go into starvation mode.  The drawback to BP is that their 3 day cleans runs about $190- that is a lot of dough to spend on juice.  But they delivered it to my office and it was all pre-pressed and convenient, which was ideal for me.  I decided to try their Renovation Cleanse, which at the time was the best for beginners.  I loved that the juices tasted good- nothing to grassy or gross- and for your last juice of the day, you get this cashew milk blend which has cinnamon in it, and it is downright delicious.  It is also the most filling of the beverages, so when you’re really about to chew off your own arm, the cleanse comes through for you with some sustenance.

These days, BP is also offering a new cleanse, the Juice ‘Till Dinner, which the website says consists of a daily supply of four juices, a two course vegetarian meal, and two snacks.  With foods like Cucumber Basil Soup with Cashew Cream on the menu, I think it sounds pretty good.  If you’ve tried it, I’d love to hear about how you liked it!

So, ok, review time. 

Pros:  The BP Cleanse offers tasty juice, and is 100% convenient.  I did my fast in very hot August weather and worked out every day, but in spite of these two facts I was never left feeling shaky or weak.  The cleanse helped me lose 3 pounds, at a point in my wedding diet where I had been at a three week plateau.  My tummy was as flat as it has ever been in my boudoir photos and I felt great.   

Cons:  I was hungry.  Very.  No lie.  I was cranky.  I was emotional.  I cried once (or twice).  The BP Cleanse was also expensive- but then again, that may have been a pro because when you spend that much on a cleanse, you ain’t cheating.

Would I do it again?  Sure, so long as I have the kind of job where I can afford it.  But my MIL made a good point too- you could probably do a day drinking V8 and get similar results.  Ok, you might not feel like you were eating 10 pounds of freshly pressed cabbage, but for less money I might try that next! 

Have you ever tried cleansing?