Gown by Carolina Herrera: Original Retail: $5790, Gilt: $1999

Carolina back view

Carolina overlay (sigh!)

Another perfect gown from Carolina Herrera: Original Retail: $4990, Gilt: $1599

Carolina back view

Carolina detail

From Thread Made To Order, Silk Faille Strapless Notched Bust Liddy Dress: Original Retail: $305, Gilt: $228.75

Thread back view

Thread detail

Vera Wang Lavender Label, Bias Satin Draped Neckline Gown: Original Retail: $655.50, Gilt: $196.65

Vera back view

Vera detail (how I love thee)

The icing on the cake! Sergio Rossi: Original Retail: $770, Gilt: $128

Sergio looks good coming or going

This shot makes me so psyched for summer shoes again!

What other cyber-sales have you visited for wedding deals?  Or non-wedding deals for that matter?  After all, a girl doesn’t have to wait for her wedding to get glam!

I have excellent news for you today if you are planning a wedding and have a “champagne taste but beer budget” problem (or just like a good bargain).  Gilt Groupe is partnering with Martha Stewart Weddings this weekend, March 12-14, starting at noon ET!  I have been a big fan of Gilt Groupe for a while now, because I always score great deals there.  But now, gowns by designers like Carolina Herrera and Alexander McQueen will also be for sale there… not to mention bridesmaids dresses from Amasale and Vera Wang Lavender!  If only I had known about this sale a year ago!  Ah well, my loss is your gain!  I would love to hear if any of you score a great find at this sale!  If you’re not a member of Gilt already, click here to sign up- even if you’re not looking for wedding duds, you’re likely to score some great deals!

To make up for all the photos, I’ll try to keep my narrative to a minimum.  Really, all that needs to be said is that when I returned from the salon, most of my ladies were already dressed, and they looked outrageously stunning.  I immediately started to get misty when I saw them, they were so beautiful!  And then, I saw my flowers, and was so relieved that they weren’t ugly!  It was, after all, my biggest irrational wedding fear (I’m pretty sure every bride has one).

When I walked in the door, my bridesmaids got me a mimosa right away, followed by a Power Bar (I forgot to eat!  which NEVER happens…), while my mother and sisters finished themselves getting ready.  To pass the time, I visited with my cousins and danced with my flower girl… and then it was my turn to get dressed!  And yes, there were more tears, but we enjoyed every moment.  It was perfection!

Sadly, we were running behind schedule pretty badly at this point, so we had to hustle to get portraits done.  But you really can’t tell in the photos.  Reason #10,000 why I heart Jessica!

See, there, I kept the words brief.  Enjoy!

And how did we get here?  Checking In;  Practice Makes Perfect: The Rehearsal!; The Rehearsal Dinner!; The Rehearsal Dinner Slide Show; Girls Gone Wild!; Got Mah Hairs Did; The Guys Get Groomed

The breaking of the glass is an important tradition at Jewish wedding ceremonies.  Traditionally, the groom smashes a glass with his foot at the conclusion of the ceremony.  There are two main schools of thought about the meaning of this tradition.  One interpretation is that the broken glass symbolizes “forever” – that the marriage will last as long as the glass is broken.  Another interpretation is that Jews need to remember those who are suffering even during the most joyous occasions, and to remember the destruction of the second temple.  Rather than delve more into the background of this tradition, I would recommend The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant to anyone who is interested.

The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant

Regardless of its meaning, the breaking of the glass is certainly one of the more “popular” traditions at Jewish ceremonies.  I have heard many terrible stories about errors occurring during the execution of this tradition.  There are stories about the glass not breaking, leading to a lot of embarrassment for the groom and some rumors of bad luck.  There are stories about the glass tearing through the groom’s shoe, leading to a night at the Emergency Room.  The list goes on.  I wanted to avoid this at all costs.  Hence, I did a little research.

The best idea is to not rely on the catering facility to provide the glass.  While your caterer should be able to provide a drinking glass wrapped in a cloth napkin, the glass is often too thick, and not easily breakable.  The most common recommendation I received was to bring a light bulb for the groom to break instead.  Light bulbs break very easily, and make a great “popping” sound.  It’s an easy, low-cost idea.

But of course, I continued the search to find something a little more special.  I came across Shardz, a company that sells products at most Judaica stores.  Shardz sells “wedding glass” in every color, so you can coordinate the glass color to match your wedding. While their price is a little expensive for a thin glass (approximately $30), I thought it was worth it. 

Look at these great colors!

The glass that I ordered came in a lovely satin pouch.  The most wonderful part of using Shardz is that your broken wedding glass can be made into a wonderful memento of your wedding.  After your wedding, you mail the broken wedding glass (in a sealed, ziploc bag) back to the company.  Shardz will turn put your wedding glass into a mezzuzah, kiddush cup, candle sticks, picture frame or menorah.  I’m very pleased that I can incorporate the remnants of this Jewish wedding tradition into a Judaica item for my home.

Mezzuzah made from Shardz

I ordered my Shardz from www.galleryjudaica.com.  Shardz is not the only company that sells this.  www.Judaism.com sells “groom’s glass” from various artists.  I’m sure you can find even more options with a little web browsing.  What creative ideas do you have for this great tradition?

click image for source...

Only kidding.  I love me some Jennifer Gray and Patrick Swayze, but what I really was hoping was to simply avoid reliving the middle school sway during our first dance.  You know the one.

click image for source

J. on the other hand, reacted negatively to the idea at first.  He wanted the moment of our first dance to be personal and romantic, and was afraid of showboating.  I maintained that showboating was highly appropriate given that it was, um, our wedding.  But since he wasn’t feeling it, I didn’t really push it.  I just focused on the fact that my dad and I were taking dance lessons (something I was already psyched about) and figured J. and I would be fine.

This may be what J. wanted to avoid (click for source)

So imagine how happy I was when J. surprised me on my 30th birthday with… dancing lessons!  We went to Arthur Murray in Ridgewood, New Jersey, where we took a private lesson taught by a very pleasant and patient teacher.  And we were both shocked by how much easier it was than we thought it would be.  For me, dancing isn’t too hard because I took years of lessons growing up.  But when J., who has no dancing background, also figured it out quickly, we were especially happy!  J. has always been an accomplished athlete (having wrested in high school and college, and he holds a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) so I guess the same technique for memorizing moves and combinations there was helping him remember the moves with dancing.  And when all was said and done, not only did we have better stage presence, we also had a really nice time!

I highly recommend these dancing lessons to everyone!  I think what made our experience so successful was the following:

- We kept it simple with just three dance steps and a turn which could be done in any order we wanted, so long as we communicated.  That was nice because it left lots of wiggle room when we got to the dance floor, and also helped us hide mistakes– and the ability to hide mistakes was good for the nerves!

-At the end of our dance we did a dip.  One – and only one- signature move that required some practice and concentration.  We did not let things get over-complicated and it worked out well for us.

- We took two lessons and then practiced for 5 minutes a night at home, just to any music that happened to be on the radio.  J. would try to trick me, so that I’d really pay attention to his movement and allow him to lead.  And when all else failed, he’d just tell me “ok I’m about to do a turn.”  Being able to talk may not fly in ballroom competition, but people at the wedding just thought we were whispering sweet nothings into one another’s ears.

- Having the dance to concentrate on also helped take some of the pressure off of us- I know, it is ironic that doing something like that actually made it easier to have so many eyes on us.  But when you’re thinking about all the dance moves, it leaves less time to think about the fact that so many people are watching, or how nervous you are.  And after some practicing, it wasn’t even very hard, which meant there was still space in our brains to absorb the magic of the moment.

- We had fun with it at home!  We goofed off and laughed a lot, and it became it’s own memory.

At the end of the day, our dance wasn’t at all showboat-y.  It was simple, romantic, and to top it all off, looked nice in photos.  J. and I still talk about how much we enjoyed it!  I’m still working on recaps with pro pics but in the mean time, check out these lovely first dance shots taken by friends and family!  Are you sold yet?  Would you try dance lessons?

And by the way, if you are thinking of taking lessons and live in NYC, NJ, or Long Island, be sure to check out today’s Groupon: $45 for four weeks of lessons at Dance with Me!

Starting out and working through the nervousness...

Starting to relax and enjoy the moment!

"ok now I'm going to turn you..."

The big finish!

image sources: tea cup; orchid invitation; San Patrick Gown; vintage ice skating beauty; Jim Hjelm bridesmaid dress; aisle decor; wedding cake;ice skates; ice sculpture; wild flowers; winter bride and groom; tutu flower girl.

Is this not 100% totally adorable?

Here’s the scoop, from the source:

Attn: All lovers.

Unusually Fine is going to shoot one lucky couple’s New York wedding for FREE.  We’re new to the city and it’s our way of saying, “Hello, New York. Can I buy you a drink?”

Here’s the deal. Max and Margaret are suckers for a good love story.  Send yours our way by Friday, March 12th.  Tell us why your love is special and why you think Unusually Fine ought to shoot your wedding.   A team of highly-trained monkey judges will choose three finalists.  The top three entries will be posted to our blog and we’ll leave it to our fans to decide who wins.

That’s it.  The winner receives up to 8 hours of wedding day coverage, a gorgeous album, and the DVD of images.  There are no strings attached, no hidden costs, no taxes, no obligation to buy a single thing.  This is so free.  It’s 110% free.  So.  Send this link to your friends, family, coworkers, boss, or nominate them yourself, and make sure you do it before March 12th.

RULES:
1. You must be in love.
2. The wedding must take place in the great state of New York.
3. The wedding must be in 2010 or 2011.

HOW TO ENTER:
Send your love story to look@unusuallyfine.com in 1,000 words or fewer, along with a snapshot of the engaged couple.

And here’s the adorable blog:  http://unusuallyfine.blogspot.com/

Go sign up now!

The thing that really irks me about this, is that my marriage certificate is not the legal document that changed my name.  I know in some states the marrige certificate does change the woman’s name if she wants it, but in NJ all it shows is that I am married, and who I married.  The legal document that actually changed my name was the social security card… and now the drivers license.  And why does BoA need to know the underlying reason for my name change anyway?  I guarantee if a man went in and said he changed his name, they would not ask for his marriage certificate.

According to BoA, it is an anti-fraud and anti-money laundering measure, and also for tax reporting, etc.  I don’t buy it for a second.  J. and I could close our account today and then walk in tomorrow and open a new one with just our drivers licenses.  It makes me so angry that I want to just close all of my accounts with BoA- even though it would be simpler and easier just to bring in the marriage certificate.   

And the other thing that really gets to me about this, is that everyone else wants to see the marriage certificate too.  Nobody ever asks for my license or social security card.  Case in point: Signature Property Group, who manages my condo complex.  They wanted the marriage certificate as evidence of the name change; when I offered to send the other, actual name change documentation, they said they didn’t need it. 

I feel that it is incredibly paternalistic that every major institution I have worked with on this issue has asked for a document that shows who my husband is- as opposed to a document showing who I am- as evidence of my name change.  As a woman who has managed my life without a man on my paperwork for 30+ years now, I am 100% offended. 

 Has anyone else found this element of starting a new life frustrating?  How did you salvage your pride without ruining your own life?  All I want to do is sue people

image source

While the ladies and I were getting all gussied up, the men were… relaxing.  Eating sandwiches and drinking beer, and eventually, putting on their tuxes.  J. in particular looked pretty dapper, so Jessica pulled him aside to capture his look.

Jessica also took some time to show John his wedding present- an album of boudoir photos of yours truly!  I absolutely love how they came out and had such a hard time keeping them a secret from John, so it was great that she could be there to capture the moment he opened his book!

Of course, little M. was unimpressed by all the commotion.  He was busy pretending to be a ninja and avoiding hugs from all the bridesmaids.  It’s tough being so cute.

But the rest of the men were in excellent spirits.  I love how great the tuxedos looked with the handmade bout’s!

It probably didn’t hurt that I sent some cigars over either…

Eventually the guys rallied for some official portraits, and first came a key shot: J. with his best man and brother, D.

Followed by some cute, cheesy, and traditional hand shake shots.  The top two, and bottom right shots are of J. with my brothers.  I really like how amused they look (you know they are thinking “joke’s on you buddy!”)  But hey, they looked great!  And PS, the bottom left photo is J. with our brother in law, S!

With all this serious portraiture going on, the men did not let it get to them… J. had plenty of folks around to make sure he didn’t take himself too seriously enjoyed himself.

Including J.’s dad of course!  (Where was my dad, you ask?  Taking the vintage Packard to church, so we’d have it in case of snow… more on that later).

With that, a few more photos of the dudes in action… what a handsome group!

And then they were whisked back to their hotel rooms for a while, so we ladies could come do pictures too!

And how did we get here?  Checking In;  Practice Makes Perfect: The Rehearsal!; The Rehearsal Dinner!; The Rehearsal Dinner Slide Show; Girls Gone Wild!; Got Mah Hairs Did

For example, I just bought some custom postage for shower invitations at Zazzle, spent about $100, and since they give 10% cash back I’m getting about $10 for it.  I also buy online from Sephora pretty often, and they give 4% back. See how this could add up?  My personal rule is that I don’t use the service unless it is for something I need to buy anyway and the coupons make it all make sense- which has been more often than I expected.

I am also a big fan of Ebates because they have coupon codes on their website, which you can use for even more bargains.  And of course, once you have started shopping, there is nothing to prohibit you from using other coupon codes.  So my Zazzle purchase, for example, I used a code for 12% off, a code for $20 off, and a code for free shipping, so with the extra $10 from Ebates, my fancy postage became much more affordable.

My favorite stores on Ebates include:

The Apple Store (1%)

Ann Taylor and Loft (3%)

Barnes and Noble (8%)

Bliss Spa (4%)

Borders (4%)

Crate and Barrel (3%)

Gap (4%)

iTunes (3%)

JoAnn (5%)

Kate Spade (3.5%)

The Land of Nod (4%)

Nordstrom (3%)

Payless (3%)

PetFoodDirect (5%) – I use this one a LOT

Red Envelope (6%)

Target (3%)

Urban Outfitters (2.5%)

Vera Bradley (3%)

Victoria’s Secret (2%)

Vistaprint (5%) – HEY BRIDES, SEE THIS?!

White House Black Market (2%)

1-800-FLOWERS (5%)

And the list goes on.  It’s also a great place to book travel (car rental, hotels and airfare) for cash back too!  I will definitely be hooking this up for my next trip.

In the interest of full disclosure, I want you to know that if you sign up for Ebates by clicking on a link in this post, I get a referral credit- so signing up through this post would be very nice of you- but if you would prefer not to do so, you can navigate to Ebates directly in your browser, and I think in either case you will be happy you did!  I don’t really mind if you use my referral link or not- I just think this is an easy way to watch pennies- and I think this would have been extra handy when planning our wedding, since we bought SO much stuff online!